Days after Noah was born I found myself in a place I never expected. It was a place of can'ts, couldn'ts, and don'ts. I couldn't give birth naturally. I couldn't breast feed. I don't know why my baby cries. I can't find time to clean house, cook, or write thank yous.
I sat at the computer, crying. Mark prayed for me. Motherhood has left me humbled, confused, elated, exhasuted, and full of insecurities. As Mark prayed for me the Lord reminded me of the verse in Lamentations.
To my can'ts, the Lord says, "I can." To my couldn'ts, the Lord said, "I did." To my don'ts, the Lord says, "I do." Truly, each morning I ask for new mercies, new compassions. The Lord is faithful to pour them down on me.
Years ago I poured out my heart to Him in worship with a verse that reads, "Let your mercies fall from Heaven...new mercies for today, shower them down as we pray." It is those same mercies that I am crying out for again, allowing the Lord to minister to my needs as a wife and mother.
I think about those women who are new mothers, as I am, who have no hope in Jesus as their Lord and Savior. I pray for these same mercies for them, that the Lord who showers me with compassion would shower them with the same. I pray that they would find their hope in Him as their babies cry and there is no answer. As they struggle with unexpected challenges in motherhood. As they stumble through the day on only a few hours of sleep.
I would like to write that Noah is sleeping better and crying less...I can't...not yet. But I believe that his cries are being comforted by the same Lord who is comforting me. Join us as we pray for rest for little Noah, knowing that we serve a God who answers our prayers.
"And He took the children in His arms, put His hands on them and blessed them." Mark 10:16
1 comment:
Angie--He's beautiful and I love his sweet sleeping face. Listen to that baby cry and treasure it because it grows up to a whiny, angry cry so fast! Honestly I love that newborn cry. (It sounds better after you've had a long nap!!)
Since having kids I can't get anything done...unless it's due tomorrow morning and then I stay up all night to do it, my house is no longer clean...it's "lived in", I haven't written a well thought out thank you note in over eight years, I cook in spurts and quit feeling guilty as soon as I convinced Andrew that a Happy Meal was well-balanced, I DO still wear make-up even if sweat suits are a staple. I can't keep up with my scrapbook but I do have my blog. You get the idea...motherhood is such a juggling act filled with great sacrifice and even greater joy. I've learned not to fixate on the daily chaos but rather on the perfect moments worthy of a Norman Rockwall painting. Don't get so frustrated that you miss them!
Also, motherhood is full of phases. Some breed our confidence while others reveal our utter dependance on Christ and our hopless state without Him.
Oh how this post makes me miss you...and crying out for new mercies together. I would so come to your house and walk around for hours holding a little bitty crying Noah...I so would...and bring my army of help with me. ;)
Congratulations, my sweet friend. Treasure every second.
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