5:00 a.m. -- Noah begins to stir. I groan.
5:30 a.m. -- Mark showers, I get Noah.
6:00 a.m. -- Noah snuggles on my lap.
6:30 a.m. -- I shower and rush to get ready.
7:25 a.m. -- I kiss Mark and Noah and head to work.
7:30 a.m. - 3:30 p.m. -- Work.
3:30 p.m. - 5:00p.m. -- Pick up Noah and play with him.
5:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m. -- Dinner and bath for Noah
6:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m. -- Read to Noah and play with him.
8:00 p.m. -- Eat dinner
8:30 p.m. -- Crawl into bed with house a mess.
8:45 p.m. -- Noah wakes up screaming.
9:10 p.m. -- Try to lay Noah down, he continues screaming.
9:45 p.m. -- Finally get Noah in his crib...asleep.
9:45 p.m. -- Go to bed for a second time.
11:45 p.m. -- Noah wakes up screaming. Up until 1:30 trying to get him back to bed.
1:30 a.m. -- Climb back into bed and discuss Noah's sleep pattern with Mark.
2:00 a.m. -- Last time I see on the clock.
5:00 a.m. -- Repeat.
This is, and has been, our schedule for the last four weeks or so. We don't know why Noah won't sleep. We are exhausted. We have skipped church so Noah can nap...and we can too. We have bags under our bags. We forget the sentence we just started. We are crying out to God for rest for Noah...for us.
Then, perspective. I picked Noah up from daycare on Monday. The news. A three month old baby in the care of another had died from SIDS that day. I did not know the parents, it didn't matter. I dropped to my knees and wept. Something deep within me wept for that precious baby, for those parents who were weeping, for the woman we know who gently placed that sweet baby down for a simply nap only to return to stillness that wasn't right.
I sat holding Noah last night for two hours. I will never complain about getting to hold my precious little one late in the wee hours again. How the mother must long to feel her baby in her arms again. The emptiness she must feel.
Please pray for the family. For the sitter.