I plan, I organize, I spend countless hours completing tasks that I think are necessary. These tasks give me the feeling of perfection. A spotless house, thank-you cards sent out on time, bills paid and mailed early...all signs of my perfect life.
Just a couple of weeks ago Mark's brother was coming for a weekend of football here in the Show-Me State. I had plans. I had my days scheduled, my cleaning scheduled, my meals planned out.
I have bragged about my easy pregnancy. I have rejoiced and given thanks to the Lord for it. So in this perfect plan of mine for John's visit I did not plan on being weak. The weekend before the visit I pulled (somehow) a muscle in my stomach which kept me from being able to stand on my own...I couldn't hold the laptop against my stomach, I couldn't sit all the way up...I couldn't clean, I couldn't prepare wonderful meals. I was weak.
I went to the doctor and was put on bed rest for the entire week. This meant a dirty house, no groceries, and a guest on the way.
2 Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
In the same week my cousin, Chris, turned 50! While we could not make the trip to Virginia for his surprise party, I was going to send a tape wishing him a Happy Birthday. I didn't do it, not a tape, not a card, not an e-mail. Happy late Birthday Chris!
Some saying reads something like this, "If you are near me long enough I will let you down." That is how I have felt, that is my flesh talking. It is not a warning to all of you. Rather, it reminds me that it is only through Christ's strength that I am able to do anything at all.
I can do all things though Christ who strengthens me.
My stomach has healed, my house is still not clean, I haven't cooked in days, and I have yet to mail even a card to Chris. This is where I am. It is not a confession, but a realization. As the day drawers nearer for Noah to join us I ask that you pray for us. Pray that I am able to let the little things go, that I will release the idea of perfection, and that we are able to teach Noah what is really important...that we serve a Risen Lord.