The Same Place

Where have I been?



The same place I was weeks ago. More than just at home with Noah. I have been in a place of submission. Weeks ago I was reading in James and the Lord brought me to James 1:29. "Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry."

What did it mean? I have read the verse, I have had it memorized for years. Did it have the same meaning to me today as it did 10 years ago? I wasn't sure why this verse remained with me so strongly, but I knew the Lord must have a purpose for it. Unfortunately, there are examples of both the denial that the verse was for me and acceptance that it was.

The Denial


Then there was the call, you know, the one that should be routine, but isn't. My mom called to tell me she had booked a flight for my grandmother's visit. I had my plans, she had her's. They weren't in alignment. I spoke, not slowly though. I didn't listen to the verse that had been with me weeks before the call. Then it hit me. The verse isn't just about holding your temper. It is about the way we say things. It is about praying before speaking. It is about listening to the needs of someone other than ourselves. I blew it. I apologized to my mother, but it was out there...you know, that something that could have been avoided had I listened to the verse.

Beginning to Understand
After the phone call I began to have similar situations pop up...not with my mom, but with Mark, with friends, with my sister. Rather than saying anything that came to mind, I began asking for revelation.

Have I said I have a wonderful husband? I do. He would do anything for me. Sometimes I have to ask for help, but once he is aware of a need, he always responds in love.

Mark had gone back to work. During the week I am quick to attend to Noah's cries so that Mark can rest and be prepared for the workday ahead of him. Then came the weekends. Mark continued to rest through the night while I continued to take care of Noah's 2:30 a.m. feeding. I was upset. Mark did not know it. I prayed. I waited. I asked the Lord to give me the words to speak to Mark. I asked for patience. I asked for Mark to receive my words in love.

In the end, I talked to Mark, after waiting for the right timing, the right words, and in love. He was gracious. He was apologetic. He was everything I needed him to be.



The entire conversation could have turned out differently had I handled it on my own, without the inspired words from James.

Where am I
I am still in the same place. The Lord has not had me move on. James it is...Chapter 1, Verse 19. How can He have me stay in the same place for so long? Why has He not moved me on? I don't know, but one day I will. One day He will move me on. For now, I stay, still and quiet.

Quirks, I Don't Have Any :-)

While I wasn't officially tagged, I think this is fun...and Noah is sleeping so I actually have time to write on my blog!!

Here are the rules:
(1) Link to the person that tagged you.
(2) Post the rules on your blog.
(3) Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.
(4) Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs. (I tag Lisa L., Helen, Mom, Laura A., Cynthia, and Jayme...they don't have blogs, but I am tagging them just the same).
(5) Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.

So, quirky....

1. I make up words to popular songs that fit the moment...I can't think of ANY at this moment though! If Mark were here he could give me an example, he has joined in on this and my sister does it as well. Not everyone will understand, but if you have caught me doing this unexpectedly you will know it. For example, "I love candy" (thinks 80s) becomes "I love honey"...(as I sing it to Mark).

2. I do not like things left on the kitchen counter. I will move my already overstuffed cabinets around to clear things from the counter. Mark can never find anything and my parents do not like that the toaster is not on the counter at all times.

3. I have to shave my legs everyday! I was obsessed with this during labor. Since I went into labor at midnight and my water broke I was not allowed to shower or bathe that day...it drove me insane. The very next morning I went and showered...and c-section and all, I raised my legs in the tiny hospital shower and shaved!

4. I can't stand icky feet! I think if a woman, or man, wears sandals, flip-flops, he/she should have clean toes and nice heels. I tell the high school kids this all of the time and I even cut Mark's toenails and buff them during the summer months. In fact, I had a pedicure right before giving birth to Noah. I was worried I would have unacceptable toes during delivery. Two nurses actually complimented them!! I am not sure how I will take in pedicures with Noah, but I will. If I don't you won't see me in sandals!

5. I check my e-mail obsessively! I don't know why I do this, but I will check it numerous times a day...even while I have been home with Noah. What makes this quirky is that I don't get that many e-mails a day!

6. If I ask Mark to do something I want him to do it immediately, even if it is not a pressing issue. Poor Mark!!! I try not to nag, and he has gotten used to it...but it is one quirky habit I would love to break!

So that is it. I can't wait to read (via e-mail) what everyone else's quirks are that I tagged...

Five and Counting

Noah slept five hours last night. He slept four and a half hours the night before. Mark had to wake me from a deep sleep to tell me my little boy was awake and crying. I told him I had Noah in my arms...I had a squishy pillow.



Our little man is finally settling into life.

He takes medicine for acid reflux.

He has rice cereal in his bottle.

He sleeps on his tummy...a no-no in the pediatric field, a must if he is going to sleep at all.

He smiles when you raise your voice to a high pitch.




He smiles when he lays under the star that changes colors on his floor gym.



He cries when you wake him from a nap.

He loves taking a bath and getting a lotion massage.

He is six weeks old today.

Noah's Arrival, January 5, 2008

It was 12:04 a.m. I felt "strange." I woke Mark up out of a deep sleep. My water broke...we made our calls and headed to Kansas City.



Twelve hours of labor...two tries at an epidural...one cesarean birth later and little Noah arrived!



Only, he wasn't so little. Nine pounds, 20.5 inches long, a head full of black hair, and perfect.

New Mercies

"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22-23

Days after Noah was born I found myself in a place I never expected. It was a place of can'ts, couldn'ts, and don'ts. I couldn't give birth naturally. I couldn't breast feed. I don't know why my baby cries. I can't find time to clean house, cook, or write thank yous.

I sat at the computer, crying. Mark prayed for me. Motherhood has left me humbled, confused, elated, exhasuted, and full of insecurities. As Mark prayed for me the Lord reminded me of the verse in Lamentations.

To my can'ts, the Lord says, "I can." To my couldn'ts, the Lord said, "I did." To my don'ts, the Lord says, "I do." Truly, each morning I ask for new mercies, new compassions. The Lord is faithful to pour them down on me.

Years ago I poured out my heart to Him in worship with a verse that reads, "Let your mercies fall from Heaven...new mercies for today, shower them down as we pray." It is those same mercies that I am crying out for again, allowing the Lord to minister to my needs as a wife and mother.

I think about those women who are new mothers, as I am, who have no hope in Jesus as their Lord and Savior. I pray for these same mercies for them, that the Lord who showers me with compassion would shower them with the same. I pray that they would find their hope in Him as their babies cry and there is no answer. As they struggle with unexpected challenges in motherhood. As they stumble through the day on only a few hours of sleep.

I would like to write that Noah is sleeping better and crying less...I can't...not yet. But I believe that his cries are being comforted by the same Lord who is comforting me. Join us as we pray for rest for little Noah, knowing that we serve a God who answers our prayers.




"And He took the children in His arms, put His hands on them and blessed them." Mark 10:16

Good Things Come in Little Packages

This week I came home to find a small box on my doorstep. I love getting packages! This one I couldn't wait to open...Mark's sister-in-law had promised to send us some yummy Christmas treats (homemade I should add) since we would not be there for Christmas. I immediately opened the box.

Inside I found a lot of those Styrofoam peanuts and the tin I had been waiting eagerly to receive! As excited as I was I sifted through the peanuts and found a small DVD...a Christmas message from our nephews and niece...an unexpected gift...small, yet mighty!



I could not wait for Mark, I miss home, I miss familiar, I miss these three young people! I turned out the lights, turned on the Christmas tree and settled in to watch the DVD.



I was able to watch and listen to Jack, and later Sam, play Christmas songs. They have been taking piano lessons...I smiled as they played their songs. I heard what they wanted for Christmas. I was able to see a chalk drawing of Noah created by Beth. My favorite part was when the kids each told Noah one thing. Sam told Noah he hoped he likes everyone. Beth encouraged Noah not to cry. Jack told Noah he would like his parents...us.



It was the unexpectedness of this gift that made it so special...and it was from the heart of those whom we love. Mark and I cannot thank John, Lisa, Jack, Sam, and Beth enough for this gift. We cannot find the words that would express how it made us feel.

Years ago God gave the world a gift more precious, more valuable, more wonderful than words can express and had him wrapped, not in peanuts, but in cloths in a manger. "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth on him should not perish, but have everlasting life." John 3:16
We can never thank God enough for His wonderful gift.

Merry Christmas Jack, Sam, and Beth! We love you very much. Thank you for sending us Christmas wishes. Love Aunt Angie and Uncle Mark

Update on Noah

Not an official blog entry, Mark and I had our 36 week visit...which meant our last time seeing Noah on a tiny screen...the next time we see him he will be in our arms! We found out that Noah is currently 6 lbs. 7 oz., and not the 10 lbs. I have feared.

We found out that he has a head full of hair and that his intestines are in his body (another ridiculous fear I had). All looks well with our little man and we can't wait to meet him.

He is head down, and my body has begun the process of preparing to deliver him...which means only that I will indeed have him, but we have no due date other than January 10.

So weekly visits are in our future. Our bags are packed and in the car. The car seat is installed. Noah has more gifts than we do under the tree and we have dog sitters lined up!